Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Randomize
