It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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