Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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