I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
