that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
