Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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