how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
