I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
