I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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