If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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