why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
