I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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