mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
last night I used snow as a chaser
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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