Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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