Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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