Just cropdusted the office
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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