Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
