good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just pee around me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize