He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Its about making memories worth repressing
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
