Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
