You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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