By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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