Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
