when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize