I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
