Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
