You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize