I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.