Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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