Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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  (907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57
  Replies (10) Good night (2586) Bad night (922)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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  (254): He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American http://tfl.nu/3hjs
  Replies (29) Good night (2812) Bad night (2186)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face

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  (847): I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face http://tfl.nu/ydcz
  Replies (13) Good night (4391) Bad night (900)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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  (972): Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy http://tfl.nu/ylro
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (2984)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.

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  (614): she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again. http://tfl.nu/e05t
  Replies (2) Good night (2201) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?

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  (317): Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now? http://tfl.nu/j3p5
  Replies (9) Good night (2329) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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  (219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3
  Replies (10) Good night (2675) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.

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  (321): I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever. http://tfl.nu/o4s7
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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  (847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits

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  (216): Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits http://tfl.nu/2zgj
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car

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  (302): I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car http://tfl.nu/rca8
  Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

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  (773): It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse http://tfl.nu/hj9m
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.

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  (606): You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep. http://tfl.nu/jgge
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.

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  (360): I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine. http://tfl.nu/mtza
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (133)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I have bits of ceiling fan all over now

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  (813): I have bits of ceiling fan all over now http://tfl.nu/xnd8
  Replies (1) Good night (154) Bad night (210)

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