Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch
  Replies (4) Good night (2789) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can... http://tfl.nu/qmq9
  Replies (21) Good night (618) Bad night (3049)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster. http://tfl.nu/tawm
  Replies (14) Good night (7508) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night http://tfl.nu/q31t
  Replies (23) Good night (3749) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping. http://tfl.nu/aea5
  Replies (30) Good night (3709) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/vmmw
  Replies (14) Good night (3036) Bad night (2086)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with. http://tfl.nu/hnbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (1002) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations? http://tfl.nu/lkp9
  Replies (8) Good night (1461) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/g46j
  Replies (6) Good night (1819) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are. http://tfl.nu/sjk3
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state. http://tfl.nu/qc3a
  Replies (4) Good night (524) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science. http://tfl.nu/775a
  Replies (3) Good night (296) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.

  (682): View more from Texas

  That's completely alright, I do it a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself. (682): That's completely alright, I do it a lot. http://tfl.nu/7is7
  Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!" http://tfl.nu/7rwd
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (259)

Randomize