think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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