He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
