Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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