But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize