see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize