I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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