My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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