my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
