Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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