the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
