if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
