Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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