I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize