She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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