dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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