Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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