I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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