If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
