I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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