In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
