I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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