It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
