My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
