Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
