just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
