I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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