Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
