Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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