the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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